My husband and I were visiting my 80-year-old mother-in-law, Eileen, in the hospital the other day after her open-heart surgery. She showed me the incision running down her chest and looked at me ruefully. She said, “I guess I need to throw out all of those bikini tops I have.” I said, “No way! We can sew some padding in to the cups. When we go visit my family this Christmas, we can tie them around our heads and wear them as ear muffs to keep our ears warm. If anyone gives us odd looks, we will just tell them all of the top models on the runways of Milan are wearing them this year!” Eileen said, “Well, I have always been a bit of a fashion trend setter amongst my friends!” The image of all of us wearing bikini tops on our heads in the middle of a Midwest winter made us laugh, but only a few days earlier, we were really anxious and scared for her.

Last week, Eileen came to our house and told us that her throat was tingling. She thought she was having an allergic reaction to something she ate. My husband took her to an urgent care clinic. At the clinic, the tingly feeling was moving down into her chest, so the doctor performed an EKG. The electrocardiogram looked a little abnormal and her blood pressure was really high, so the clinic staff gave her some aspirin, nitroglycerin, and called an ambulance to take her to the hospital.

At the hospital the tingling sensation went away, but she kept having episodes of very high blood pressure. Over several days, the doctors ordered a cardiac MRI, stress test, cardiac catheterization, and some other tests. Eileen had previously undergone a stent procedure to open up a blockage, but the doctors determined that she would need a quadruple bypass and an aortic heart valve repair/replacement.

Last Friday she went into surgery. Eileen isn't just my mother-in-law, she is my very dear friend, so when the doctor came to tell us it was over and that she had done well, I was so relieved that I wanted to cry. Eileen still has a long road to a full recovery, but I have confidence that she is a strong lady and will do well.

If you or a loved one are suffering from heart disease, you may find these additional resources helpful:

• Gender Differences in Diagnosis and Management of Heart Disease
• The Healthy Heart Handbook for Women
• Heart Disease in Women
• Heart Healthy Eating
• USA.gov

P.S. I'd like to thank the doctors, nurses, and staff of the Northeast Methodist Hospital in San Antonio for taking good care of Eileen. Also, a big shout out to Eileen's posse, the Wild Bunch. Y'all are the funniest, rowdiest bunch of gals I've ever met, and you have all been wonderful friends to Eileen. Thank-you for your support during this time. Beading party at my house when Eileen is feeling up to it!

Normally, I am a law-abiding citizen and not prone to perpetrating Halloween pranks. However, earlier in the week my trainer, Mike, made me do push-ups. He claims he did not get my memo stating my “No Push-Ups Policy”, but when he denied it, he had a shifty look on his face. Anyway, I am very sore. I can't even lift my arm to offer a friendly wave or other friendly gestures. I want some payback. This friendly gal is going to get some revenge by toilet papering Mike's yard on Halloween night.

I like to bring professionalism to everything I do, so I have done my homework and I have come up with a plan:

• I have hired some of the best toilet papering commandos in my neighborhood .
• My team has done reconnaissance in Mike's neighborhood. We know where the street lights are located, how to handle the barking dogs, and which neighbors are prone to nosiness.
• We have identified an escape route should things go south.
• I have purchased black face paint and selected the perfect black outfit, with matching accessories, for the big event.

The surprise element in my whole plan is the actual papering medium we will use. Now that I have been forced to perform push-ups, I am “strong like bull.” Instead of cheap, wimpy, toilet paper, we will be going hard core and using double rolls of 2-ply!

For those who have been following my blog regularly, you know that I am kidding... or am I? Bwah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Have a scary, but safe Halloween. The Halloween page on USA.gov features links to Halloween facts, healthy Halloween treats, safety tips, and pumpkin carving tips. For those of you who are interested, here is my Halloween blog from last year and the Halloween blog from 2 years ago by Samantha. Enjoy!

P.S. To Lazy Ghoul, who left this comment last year,

“I live on a hillside in a suburban community, my front door is a good 20 feet above street level. Rather than subject the children to climbing my steps i sit and throw candy to (at) them from my porch. Some kids really get into it. I've learned to judge candy by it's loft to drag ratio and found that Dum Dums get the best range, followed by Tootsie Pops, then Blow Pops...”

I hope to hear from you again. Did you try my suggestion to build a candy catapult with a mouse trap, some duct tape, and a bobby pin? Let me know, because I can think of all kinds of uses for that thing if it works!

I accepted a long time ago that no bottle, compact, or spray with its glorious concoction of magical elements is going to turn me into some gorgeous babe, but I recognized that products could enhance my appearance, so I used them religiously. Now that I am older, I am getting stubborn, or perhaps just lazy in the pursuit of beauty. On any given day, it is anyone's guess whether I will slap on the old war paint or even use some moisturizer. I may have skin like an old rhino and pores the size of Montana, but I really can't be bothered.

Don't get me wrong, I have just as much product as the next gal. I consider it my consumer duty to keep the economy healthy by regularly purchasing quantities of beauty products that I then toss in to makeup bags, purses, drawers, and cabinets where they sit rarely, and sometimes never, used.

When a friend mentioned to me that I should write a blog about cosmetics and beauty products, I decided to take inventory of my beauty stash. Holy cow! I have acquired so much stuff over the years! It is embarrassing to tell you this, but I have makeup and other products that date back to the 90's.

Most women know that makeup should not be kept for that long, but how many of us keep informed about other aspects of the cosmetics industry? Do you know what is in your beauty products? Do you ever look at product labels? To be honest, I don't.

As I began to delve into information about makeup and other beauty products, I realized that there are many information resources in the federal government that pertain to cosmetics and other beauty products. Here are a few:

• Cosmetics Consumer Information for Women
• Cosmetic Labeling Guide
• Food and Drug Administration Cosmetics Section
• Hair Dye and Hair Relaxers
• Household Products Database
• MedlinePlus Cosmetics Section
• Your Guide to Reporting Problems to FDA

I learned from reading this information that I need to throw out my old beauty products. I also need to pay more attention to what I am purchasing, and just because something is more expensive doesn't mean that it is, in fact, better. Hope you find these resources useful too. See ya next week.

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I have several friends whose mothers have had breast cancer. My friends witnessed their mothers go through surgeries and cancer treatment therapies, so they are familiar with the disease. Because a woman's risk of breast cancer is higher if her mother, sister, or daughter had breast cancer, my friends pay special attention to their own breast health.

Early detection with regular mammograms and manual breast self-examinations, can increase survival rates. Women who do not have a family history of breast cancer should also have a mammogram and clinical breast examination by a health care provider every year. Treatments can be most successful and chances of survival are best when breast cancer is found at the earliest opportunity.

I have a little ritual I perform when I go to get my mammogram. I ask the technician, on a scale of 1 to 10, what kind of day she is having. If she responds with a 6 or lower, I joke with her that she needs to go have a strawberry margarita before putting me in the pincher (not the technical name for the thing, but you know what I'm talking about). If she responds with a 9 or 10, I joke with her that I am going to have to reschedule because she is a little too happy and might be a little overzealous in her job. It might sound dumb, but this little ice breaker helps me relax and it makes the experience... I won't say pleasant, how about, not so bad?

There are many resources out there that are useful, here are just a few that I was able to locate:

• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is featuring information on breast cancer awareness. The site also presents breast cancer statistics, information on breast cancer screening, and breast cancer publications.
• National Cancer Institute's section on breast cancer contains lots of valuable information, including information on: treatments, male breast cancer, and clinical trials. It also features "What You Need to Know About Breast Cancer" in both English and En Espańol.
• The MedlinePlus page has a good section on diagnosis/symptoms and a multimedia and cool tools section that has photos, tutorials, and videos.

There are times when we all have to reach inside, find our courage, and do something that makes us scared or uncomfortable. I was fearful in water, but one day, I decided that I didn't want to be that way anymore. I started with water aerobics and worked up to swimming a mile. In overcoming this fear, I ended up experiencing some really cool things: swimming with whale sharks, watching a shark feeding frenzy while scuba diving, and night diving. I would never have had those experiences if I hadn't forced myself to confront my fear.

There is one fear I've never completely conquered. When I was 5, I was playing with a water pump on my grandparents' property. Wasps began to come out of the pump. The other kids ran away, but I stood there screaming, trying to cover the opening with my little hands in an effort to keep the wasps inside. My grandmother rescued me, but on that day, I developed a full-blown, over-the-top bee/wasp phobia that I've carried with me my whole life.

Over the years, my overwhelming bee panic caused me to get hurt. In an effort to get away from a bumble bee, I fell backwards down a flight of stairs. Once, a bee flew into the car as we drove down a country road. Fortunately, my screaming caused my father to slow down significantly, so when I jumped out of the still moving car, I was only a little scratched.

When I was a teenager, I was outside with my dad when a bee started buzzing around me. I started to panic, but my dad ordered me to be still. Something in his voice made me do it. The bee landed on me. It took every ounce of self control I had, but I sat there with my eyes closed, tears streaming down my face while the bee walked up and down my arm. My dad talked to me calmly the whole time and eventually the bee flew off.

Did this moment change me and make me unafraid of bees. No. I am still afraid of bees. However, this moment did help me realize that I could, with a great deal of resolve, control my reaction to them. Over the years, I have had plenty of opportunities to practice my skills in controlling my bee panic. Even today, when bees are near me, I get uncomfortable. I watch them warily, but I don't slip into hysterical fear.

If you, or someone you love, has a phobia, here are some resources that can help you:

• Anxiety & Panic: Gaining Control Over How You're Feeling
• Anxiety Disorders in Children and Teens
• Children and Adolescents with Anxiety Disorders
• How Families Can Help Children Cope with Fear and Anxiety
• Mental Health: The Cornerstone of Health
• Phobia Self-Test
• Social Phobia (Social Anxiety Disorder)

Being brave isn't about NOT being afraid. It's about dealing with your fear and living your life in spite of it. I invite you to share your stories of conquering fear.