Thanksgiving, Gov Gab Style
By: Nancy | November 22, 2007 | Category: Home and Family
It's ok.
I know you're not reading a government blog today. You're at the table with your family, negotiating with your 10-year-old nephew for the second drumstick (go on, let the kid have it). Or you're with your gang, having a Friends kind of Thanksgiving. Or you're going it solo this year, kicking back at home, watching the parades and football games and enjoying your own version of Thanksgiving dinner. A friend of mine is making herself some glazed Spam today. See, that's good eatin' if you asked me.
But you didn't. Because you're not here.
If you were though, I'd be telling you about USA.gov's Thanksgiving page. Its facts, tips and trivia could actually save you during dinner discussion today, distracting your mom from asking you when you were going to give her a grandchild because she's "tired of waiting and you're not getting any younger, you know."
You could have been your family's Top Chef, learning how to cook turkey safely, the old fashioned way in the oven or by using alternate methods. I'm kind of partial to my cousin Tim's "boiler 'im up in oil" deep fryer technique.
The Thanksgiving page could have made you the know-it-all of the family, with US Census Bureau Thanksgiving stats like:
- 1.6 billion pounds of sweet potatoes are produced each year in the US. No word on how many millions of pounds of marshmallows it takes to top all the resulting sweet potato casseroles.
- There are nine "Turkey Townships" in the US, three of them in Kansas alone. Don't know what's up with that.
- 272 million turkeys are raised in the US each year, only one of which gets a pardon from the President and a free trip to Disney World. Something tells me tofurkeys don't get that same honor.
Or you could have been the family historian, holding up dessert by first making everyone listen to your recitation of America's Thanksgiving beginnings, including George Washington's proclamation that established the holiday.
But see, you can't do any of those things because you're not here learning about them with your lonely Thursday blogger. But I'll be ok. Really. You just go right ahead and have yourself a Happy Thanksgiving. And eat some of that cranberry jelly stuff for me. And a roll. Two rolls. Oh, and some of that pie...
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Comment PermalinkThomas

Comment PermalinkI'll save you some pie. Unless I don't.

Comment PermalinkHappily, I just found an abandoned pumpkin pie in the office refrigerator. It had industrial crust, capable of withstanding thousands of miles of shipping and months in "your grocer's freezer." And it was good...mainly because it was 5 o'clock and I am still two hours from dinnertime. :)

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