Infertility: Part 2 - Coping and Options
By: Ginger | October 24, 2008 | Category: Home and Family
My blog last week was about the diagnosis and treatment of infertility. Decisions and choices become more difficult as a person progresses through the journey with infertility. With each attempt, the anxiety escalates, as does the potential cost (health insurance coverage varies) and the grief experienced if the attempts fail.
It is important to learn how to cope with those feelings. Psychological factors can impact a person’s fertility. The following things can help you and your partner get through this crisis:
- Keep communication open between you and your partner. Approach infertility as a team.
- Educate yourselves about all aspects of infertility.
- Keep an optimistic attitude, but be realistic by setting limits on how long you are willing to try and how much you are willing to pay.
- Seek emotional support from doctors and others in support groups.
- Pursue other interests. Don’t let infertility take over your life.
Medline Plus has a section on coping with infertility that has helpful information. The Federal Citizen Information Center in Pueblo, CO has a mental health links page that offers links to sites that can help you deal with stress, grief, and anxiety.
Coping with infertility can be particularly difficult at holidays and family gatherings. People don’t mean to be cruel, but sometimes they say things that hurt. Talking to friends and family about your infertility may help you and it may help them to understand better what you are going through.
If pregnancy doesn’t happen, it is disappointing, but there are other options. Adoption or foster care for a child in need is a good option. There are many children in the U.S. who need a good family. International adoption may be a more involved process, but it is also an alternative. However, not everyone decides to adopt. Some people get more involved in the lives of children through a Big Brother/Big Sister program.
In my own case, my journey with infertility ended several years ago and I have accepted that I will never be a mom. I try to keep my life active and fulfilling by spending time with my 5 nephews (that’s Cam and Bryce with me on a vacation in Colorado). I may never be a mom, but I try to be a good aunt.
Life goes on and we all find our way to cope. How do you cope with infertility?
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This is my first visit to this site/blog. I found it very informative with lots of useful links.
Women are having children at an older age than ever before. We have to be realistic that our fertility decreases significantly after age 35. We need to examine our goals in life and if having children is important, it shouldn't be put on the back burner until other life goals are met.
There are plus sides to being childless: more money to pursue other interests in life, such as travel or advanced education. I think it is possible to love other people's children, such as nieces and nephews, but also foster children, or when baby-sitting. Nothing gives me a dose of reality as taking care of someone else's kids and then being so relieved when their parents come to pick them up!
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You are right, there are plus sides to being childless. I try to stay focused on those. I travel and have a lot of time to pursue my hobbies. When I see my sisters bonding with their kids, I do experience some moments of sadness. But when I am around my nephews and they are giving my sisters grief, I remind myself that I don't have to deal with those types of issues.
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